Haruki Suzumiya: Volume 1 Chapter 1
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Chapter 1 by Kaisos Erranon edited by Jintor and Beanbrew
Contents |
[edit] Part 1
I had landed a position in my local senior high school.
I'd already begun to regret this. My new school lurked on top of a rather steep hill, and even in this calm spring weather, anybody climbing to school would end up all hot and sweaty. It looks like there was no way I was going to be able to enjoy a simple leisurely walk to school.
Every time that thought rose up in my head, along with the realization that I'd have to repeat this trek every day for the next three years, I became more tired and depressed. I had overslept that day, and was beating myself over the head for not studying harder in middle school. If I had, I would have gotten into a better school, or at least one that wasn't situated on top of Mt. Everest (I guess that's why people in stories invent time machines...). All in all, it was pretty depressing.
That was why I was the only person wearing a grim face during the tedious, time-wasting entrance ceremony. Everybody else was wearing that "starting a new journey" look on their faces; you know, that ridiculous mix of hope and uncertainty that every new student wears when they enter a new school. It wasn't the same for me - a whole bunch of kids from my old school had transferred here, too, as well as a couple of my friends. So I didn't feel that there was anything to really be concerned about.
The guys were all wearing blazers, but us girls were wearing the traditional sailor uniform. An odd combination, I thought. Maybe that snore-inducing principal up on the stage had a fetish for sailor fuku? If I had studied harder, then maybe I wouldn't have to wear something that looks like it came straight out of a H-game... maybe I could get a petition together with all the other girls? No, too much work.
As I pondered the matter, the old man's monotonous speech finally finished, and I and my not-so-willing new classmates shuffled to our assigned classroom, 1-5.
Our homeroom teacher, Okabe-sensei, flashed a practiced-in-front-of-the-mirror-for-days smile at us as she began her self-introduction. She told us that she was a PE teacher, and was the Handball team's coach. Then she mentioned that she had played for a high ranking Handball team back in college, and that the current Handball team was lacking members so you were practically guaranteed a position if you joined up, and Handball was the best sport in the world, it was also great fun, and just when I thought that my brain was about to die from the sheer amount of Handball-related crap she was telling us, she apparently ran out of things to say.
So after a slightly awkward silence, she suddenly blurted out:
"So, let's introduce ourselves!"
I couldn't say this was an uncommon event; it was pretty typical in new classes, so I wasn't surprised at all. One by one, the people on the left hand side of the classroom rose and introduced themselves to the rest of us. You know, a basic introduction - their name, which middle school they had gone too, some 'interesting' stuff about themselves; hobbies or favorite foods, that kind of thing. Some people just mumbled their way through their introductions; others were totally relaxed about theirs. A few even told lame jokes to try and ease the temperature in the room.
All the while, my turn was drawing closer and closer. A little nerve-wracking, you know what I mean?
After I had finished delivering my carefully-thought-out, minimum-length introduction without stumbling over the words too much, I sat down, relishing the feeling of completing an unpleasant but necessary task.
I'll probably never forget the next few minutes for the rest of my life.
The person behind me stood up for his turn, and begun with the words that would be topic of conversation here at North High for a long time to come. "My name is Suzumiya Haruki." he said, in a clear, crisp voice. "From East Junior High."
Up to this point, his intro had been completely normal, so I didn't bother to look around at him. I just stared straight forwards and listened to his voice.
"I have no interest in ordinary humans. If there are any aliens, time-travelers, sliders, or espers here, then come! That's all."
Now, that made me turn around.
Before me stood a guy with long, black hair that came down just past his neck, and a daring, challenging look upon his slightly angular face. He stared back at the gawking students with eyes blazing with determination, his lips slightly pursed.
I recall being dazzled by his white throat. A striking beauty stood before me.
Haruki let his gaze sweep across the classroom, as though daring somebody - anybody - to challenge him, before stopping to glare at me for a bit (I was gaping, mouth wide open), before dropping into his seat without so much as cracking a smile.
Was this guy serious?
Nobody knew how to react; most likely, their minds were simply full of questions.
"Were we supposed to laugh?"
Nobody knew.
In hindsight, he wasn't trying to be dramatic or funny. When it comes to stuff like that, Haruki is never joking. He's always dead serious. I learned this the hard way, later on, so I couldn't be wrong.
The fairies of silence flitted around the classroom for a full thirty seconds before Okabe-sensei, obviously flustered, gestured to the next person to continue, and the frozen atmosphere finally lifted.
And so we met.
I desperately wish I could believe it was all just mere coincidence.
[edit] Part 2
Having captured everybody's attention on the first day, Haruki was relatively quiet thereafter, playing the part of an ordinary high school male.
In hindsight, this was exactly what they mean when they say 'the calm before the storm'.
Everyone here at this school came from one of the four junior high schools in the city— people with average grades, basically. So obviously a couple of kids in our class had been to school with Haruki and would therefore know exactly what his current stoicness symbolized. Unfortunately for me, I didn't know any kids from East Junior High, and nobody bothered to enlighten me. So a few days after that explosive introduction, I broke the world record for idiocy. I talked to Suzumiya Haruki.
My domino chain of misfortune had begun to fall, and I was the idiot who pushed the first block!
You see, when Haruki just sits there in silence in his seat, he seems like just another ordinary high-school guy. Besides, he seemed interesting enough, and since my seat was directly in front of his I figured it might be ok to try and talk to him. I was so naive! Somebody should have slapped some sense into me then and there!
"Hey."
I said casually, turning to look at him with an airy smile on my face.
"The stuff you said, back in your introduction. Was all that serious?"
With his arms crossed on his chest, lips pursed together, Suzumiya Haruki kept his posture, then stared right into my eyes.
"What 'stuff in my introduction'?"
"The stuff about the aliens."
"Do you happen to be an alien?"
He looked very serious.
"No, but-."
"If you are not, then what business do you have with me?"
"...N-Nothing."
"Then don't bother talking to me. You are wasting my time."
His glare was so cold that I found myself stuttering "sorry" before realizing it. Suzumiya Haruki removed his glare from me, rather disdainfully, and (looking up) began to frown at the ceiling.
I racked my brains for a suitable response, but I couldn't think of anything to say, especially after being called a "waste of time". It's not like guys haven't treated me like that before, but coming from somebody like him... thankfully, Okabe-sensei walked in and saved me from having to think about it any longer.
As I dejectedly turned my head back towards the front of the class, I noticed a few people looking at me curiously. When our eyes met, each person had the same kind of expression on their face, a few even nodding their heads in sympathy, as to offer me their condolences.
I felt vaguely uncomfortable. It wasn't until later on that I learned they had all graduated from East Junior High.
-
Given that my first encounter with Haruki had ended horribly, I figured that it was probably better not to get involved with him at all. A week went by without anything happening to make me rethink my decision.
But just because I had realized what Haruki was like didn't mean that everybody else had; some of them must have been totally blind to their surroundings. Some of them actually tried to talk to this eyebrow-locked, ferociously scowling, glowering boy named Haruki.
Sucks to be them.
Most of those people were sports-obsessed, delinquent sort-of guys. I guess they saw a fellow kinsman in the tall, thickset Haruki. This would have been perfectly fine if Haruki actually was a sports-obsessed delinquent.
"Hey, didja see the game last night? It went for an hour without a single goal being scored!"
"No."
"Eh? Why not?"
"I don't know."
“Aw, that’s too bad. You should check out the game next week, though. I hear they’re really going—“
"Shut up. You're pissing me off."
...was generally how it went.
Couldn't he just answer "no" and keep that perfect poker face of his? No, he had to show his impatience in his expression and his voice, leading his victims to believe that it was them who had done something wrong. In the end, they could only say "I... see... I'll just..." before slinking away, shoulders drooping, asking themselves: "Did I say something strange?"
Rest assured. It was not you that was strange. The strangeness here lies firmly with Haruki.
[edit] Part 3
Even though I don't mind eating alone, I figured that sitting by myself would probably mark me out as some loser girl that nobody liked. I'm not saying that's the reason why, but when lunchtime came around, I would sit with my junior high-school friend Kunikida and an East Junior High Graduate named Taniguchi, who sat close to me.
One day, the subject of Suzumiya Haruki came up.
"Did you try to talk to Suzumiya-kun?" Taniguchi asked, a deceptively innocent smile on her face. I nodded.
"And then he said some crazy stuff and you didn't really know how to react?" she continued.
"That's what happened."
Taniguchi put her sliced boiled egg into her mouth, chewed, and said: "Well, he wouldn’t be interested in you anyway, considering your figure. I won't mince words; you should probably just give up now! You should have already have figured out he's not... well, you know. Not normal."
Excuse me?
"I was in his class three years in a row; I know how he is."
She used this line as a footstep to launch into a speech.
"He always does the weirdest things. I thought he’d at least tone it down a bit when he got into senior high; apparently, he hasn't. You heard him in his introduction, right?"
"You mean the alien stuff?"
Kunikida, who was busy picking small bones out of her fried fish, had butted in.
"Yeah, that stuff. Even back in junior high, he always said and did tonnes of bizarre stuff. For example, there was that whole vandalism thing."
"What happened?"
"You know that thing they use, that uses plaster dust to draw lines on the sports field? Um… what's it called again...? Anyway, someone snuck into the school one night and used the... whatever-it's-called... to draw a huge symbol in the middle of the field."
Taniguchi had an impish smile on her face— she was probably remembering the incident.
"It was pretty amazing. Got to school early one morning, found giant triangles and circles scrawled all across the ground. Couldn't figure out what they were supposed to be, so I headed to the fourth floor to get a better look, but no luck - still couldn't tell what the heck they were supposed to be."
"Ah, I think I heard about that" Kunikida said. "Didn't the newspaper have a story on it? They even got an aerial shot of it. Looked like a screwed-up Nazca etching..."
I don't remember hearing anything about this.
"Oh yeah, I saw that article." This was Taniguchi again. "The headline was something like 'Mystery Vandal Strikes Junior High At Night,' right? Well, care to guess who pulled that little stunt?"
"It was him, right?"
"He admitted it himself, so it's got to be him, right? Naturally, he got called into the principal's office. Every teacher was there, questioning him on why he did it."
"Why did he do it, then?"
"I have no idea," Taniguchi answered flatly, as she tried to swallow a mouthful of rice. "I heard he refused to say anything. You know what he’s like, refusing to say anything unless he considers it important. Someone said that he drew the symbol to call out to UFOs, others said that it was a magic symbol and was used in summoning monsters, or that he was trying to open a portal to different worlds, that sort of crap... A lot of rumours went around, but as long as he refuses to talk, nobody can really say. Whole thing's still a mystery."
In my mind, I could picture Suzumiya Haruki busy laying out those white lines in the middle of the school field at night, that no-nonsense look on his face. He'd probably have prepared the machine and the limestone powders beforehand, and left them in the storage room; maybe he'd even left out a flashlight. I couldn't help but think that under its dim, yellow light, Suzumiya Haruki would have looked very serene and tragic, his head thrown back to stare into the heavens, waiting, wondering... hoping...
No, that’s just my imagination going weird.
He'd probably have been completely serious about the summoning thing, whatever it was. Perhaps he wanted to summon something to fight with? And when nothing ever appeared, he would have been completely demoralized... become bored, and maybe even melancholy. Well, that's just speculation, of course...
"That's not the only thing he did!" Taniguchi said, continuing to gobble down her lunch. "One time, we got to the classroom to find that all our desks had been moved outside, and there were stars painted all across the ceiling. Another time, he was going 'round the school, putting O-fuda everywhere... you know, those Chinese paper talisman things? No idea what was going through his head."
Suzumiya Haruki wasn't inside the classroom at this time, otherwise we probably wouldn't have been able to have this conversation. Although I got the feeling that even if he had been here, he probably wouldn't have cared. He generally left the classroom the moment lunch started and got back the second lunch ended, and he didn't carry a lunchbox, so I assumed he just went to the canteen to grab lunch. But it doesn't take a whole hour to eat lunch, does it? Maybe he eats a lot... come to think of it, he was never in the room between classes. Where the heck does he go?
"He’s really popular with the girls, though!”
Taniguchi winked.
"He’s athletic, smart, and pretty cute too. Even if he’s totally nuts, if he keeps his mouth shut, he actually doesn't seem so bad."
"Where'd you learn all this gossip?" Kunikida asked, her lunch box twice as full as Taniguchi's.
"There was a period of time where he randomly started asking girls out, non stop. From what I heard, the longest relationship lasted a week, the shortest one ended about 5 minutes after he asked her. And it was always Suzumiya-kun doing the dumping, no exceptions. The only reason he'd use was 'I don't have time for ordinary humans!' If you don't have time, why bother going out in the first place?"
That line again, huh?
Taniguchi seemed to be speaking from experience. After she noticed my stare, she blushed and became a bit flustered.
"Hey, I heard about this from other people, OK? Honest! I-It’s just, for some reason, he just started asking out pretty much anybody! But by the third year, everyone had already worked it out and begun to stay away from him, so no one got asked out anymore. Anyway, I get the feeling the same thing's gonna happen in Senior High, so... I'm warning you now, stay away from him! Don't bother; give up. This is a friendly warning from somebody who was in the same class as him for years."
There's nothing to give up on, Taniguchi. I'm not interested in him, anyway. Besides, I thought he wouldn't be interested in somebody with my figure?
Taniguchi put her empty lunch-box back into her bag, and let out a high-pitched giggle. "If there's one guy I'd like to have choose me, though, it'd be him. Asakura Ryou."
Taniguchi nodded towards a group of guys a few desks away. In the middle of the cluster, with a calm, pleasant grin on his face, was Asakura Ryou.
"As far as I'm concerned, he's definitely amongst the top three guys in our year."
"You checked out every single first-year guy in the school?" I asked.
"Oh, yeah. I group guys into categories, A through to D, and believe me, I only pay attention to the A guys. You only get to go through high school life once— I want mine to be as fun as possible!" she giggled.
"Then Asakura-kun is an A then?" Kunikida asked.
"He's an AA+! Come on, just look at his face, his personality must be first class! Plus, he's got a great butt, too!"
I really don't need to hear this.
"Oh, so the sort of guy who'd actually remember your birthday?" Kunikida butted in again.
Argh. I'm surrounded by idiots.
[edit] Part 4
Even ignoring Taniguchi's disturbing comments, you couldn't deny that Asakura Ryou was quite a different kind of guy than Suzumiya Haruki.
First and most obviously, he was very handsome; and he always smiled, giving off the impression of great compassion towards everybody. Second, Taniguchi's impression of his personality was actually quite accurate. These days no one dared to talk to Suzumiya Haruki anymore, except for Asakura Ryou. No matter how rude Suzumiya Haruki was, Asakura Ryou still tried to talk to him from time to time. He was so fervent in the matter that he almost acted like a class monitor. Third, from the way he answered teachers' questions in class alone, you could see that he was very smart. He always answered the questions correctly — in the eyes of the teachers he was probably a model student. To top it off, he was extremely popular with the guys in the class. The term had only been going for a week, and he was already well on his way to being the idol of the male students in the class, who seemed to look at him like a feudal lord of old. I think the Greeks had a word for that kind of adoration...
Asakura Ryou was one of the few guys I’d ever seen who looked like the stereotypical handsome prince from the cartoons I’d watched as a little girl. That charming smile, that calm appearance… Compared to him, Suzumiya Haruki was just a science fiction obsessed weirdo.
-
It was still April then, and Suzumiya hadn't started acting up yet. Which meant to me, a month of peace and relaxation. Unfortunately, I didn’t know that there was only be a month to go before Haruki would start going off his rocker.
Even during that short time, though, I'd already observed some of Haruki’s more eccentric behaviors.
Now, why would I say something like that?
Peculiarity #1: Every day, his hairstyle changed. Added to this, from my observations, there was sort of a weird pattern to it all. On Monday, Haruki would come to school with his hair down. On Tuesday, there’d be a single spike gelled up on the back of his head. On the next day, there'd be two spikes, the day after, three; by Friday, there were four spikes, one on each cardinal direction of his head. Was that supposed to signify something?
So Monday, zero. Tuesday, one. Wednesday, two...
As the day of the week increased, so would the number of hair spikes; by next Monday, the whole crazy process would start again. I couldn’t see any reason for it. Following that pattern, he should have six spikes on Sunday... I bet he looks like some sort of typical shounen character.
I suddenly wanted to see how his head looks on Sunday.
Peculiarity #2: For Phys Ed, classes 1-5 and 1-6 would combine and have Phys ED together, though the boys and girls separated. When we changed clothes, the girls would go to the 1-6 classroom, and the boys would go to the 1-5 classroom; meaning at the end of the period, the girls from our class (1-5) would move to the other room to change.
Unfortunately for my poor sanity, Haruki would completely ignore these conventions and start stripping before the girls had even left.
It wasn’t as if he was an exhibitionist or anything. I think he simply didn’t care whether anybody saw his body or not. Wearing his usual scowl, he’d just throw his pants onto the desk and get into his gym gear.
While this was happening most of the girls in the class would be completely frozen and confused, so it was up to me to get them out of there, trying to ignore Haruki’s mostly-naked body.
According to gossip, the other guys in the class (led by Asakura Ryou) attempted to talk Haruki out of that kind of behaviour, but he refused. Something about “the male body being nothing to be ashamed of”. Every PE lesson, Haruki would totally ignore everyone else and take his pants off without so much as a glance. So, in order to keep our optical innocence, we girls decided to leave the classroom as soon as the bell rang.
Seriously, though, Haruki is pretty well built… argh, where am I going with this?
Peculiarity #3: At the end of every period, Haruki would go missing. When the school bell came rolling around, he’d grab his school bag and march out of the classroom. I’d have thought that he’d go straight home; but to my amazement, he joined and quit every single club in the school. One day, you’d see him shooting hoops in the Basketball Club, and the next you’d see him making an urn in the Pottery Club. The following day, you might see him waving a stick at the opposing team in the Hockey Club, or smacking home runs in the Baseball Club. Now I can see why those sports jocks tried to talk to him. All the clubs tried to persuade him into joining them permanently, but turned each and every one of them down. His explanation went along the lines of "Doing the same thing every day is boring! I need new experiences!". So in the end, he didn't join any of the clubs.
What exactly is he trying to do?
Thanks to this kind of stuff, gossip about the "bizarre first year guy" spread throughout the school almost instantly. Within a month, there wasn't a single person in our school who didn't know who Suzumiya Haruki was. By May, people might still not have known the name of our principal, but Suzumiya Haruki had practically become a household name.
So, with all this kinda stuff going on— and Haruki always at the root of it all— May arrived.
-
When it comes to fate, I'm more inclined to believe in the existence of the Loch Ness Monster. Nevertheless, if destiny is actively influencing human lives, my metaphorical wheel of fate had probably begun to turn. Maybe in some far off land, there’s three magical crones busily re-weaving my future?
…No, that’s just stupid.
After the end of the vacation for Golden Week, I trudged off to school, not sure what day of the week it was. The unnaturally bright, sunny weather blasted my skin and made me drip with sweat— I had already had a shower this morning and already I wanted another one. This stupid hill the size of Kilimanjaro just makes it worse; it never seemed to end. What on earth does the Earth want from me? Was it suffering from some sort of obscure medical ailment?
"Hi, Kyon!"
Somebody hugged me from behind. It was Taniguchi. Her uniform was untidy and looked like it hadn’t been ironed or washed in a while. And was that her belt, undone?
"Where did you go for Golden Week?" she asked casually.
"My parents took me and my little brother to see my grandpa in the countryside."
"That’s boring!"
"Fine, then what did you do?" I retorted.
"I got a part-time job."
Probably at a brothel somewhere.
"Really? Working doesn’t seem to suit you at all."
"Kyon, you’re in senior high now— why do you gotta go with your little brother to see your grandpa and grandma? You should be hanging out with your boyfriends or something."
Kyon, by the way, is my nickname. My uncle was the first person to call me that. A few years back, my long-time-no-see-good-for-nothing uncle suddenly said to me "Wow, look at you, Kyon-chan! You’re all grown up!" Could he have thought of anything more embarrassing? My little brother thought it was funny and also started to call me Kyon. After that, the rest is history— my friends, upon hearing my brother calling me Kyon, decided to follow his lead. From that day on, my name, to everyone, became Kyon. Damn it, my brother used to call me "Onee-chan"!
"It’s a tradition of ours to have a family reunion during Golden Week," was my indifferent response as I scaled Mt. Aconcagua. The sweat dripping from my hair was extremely unpleasant. I really need that shower...
Taniguchi, full of hot air as always, boasted about how there were so many cute guys at her workplace, and how she planned to use the money she made to buy a new miniskirt for the summer. To me, stuff like that, along with telling people about your dreams or how amazing or cute some pet is, are the dullest possible topics in the world.
So as I wondered if this was how Haruki felt when people talked to him about football, we arrived at the school gate.
[edit] Part 5
Suzumiya Haruki was already sitting at his seat, staring at the ceiling when I entered the classroom. Two spikes protruded from each side of his head - I guess that meant today was Wednesday? After I sat down, I must immediately have been possessed by some alien spirit, or something, because I then proceeded to do what no sane person would ever have done.
I talked to Suzumiya Haruki.
(Again.)
"The hair spikes. Are they some sort of way to contact aliens?"
Slowly, mechanically, Suzumiya Haruki lowered his head downward, and stared at me with deep, piercing eyes, his face set. That’s a seriously scary expression.
"When was it that you noticed?"
His tone was so cold that it was like icicles being crushed by sharp rocks. I paused for a second, trying to think of my answer under that freezing glare.
"F-for a while, I think."
"Well. Truth be told?" Haruki put his chin on his palm, looking irritated. "I think each day of the week gives off a different image."
I think this is the first time we've had an actual conversation!
"Monday is yellow, Tuesday is red, Wednesday is blue, Thursday is green, Friday is gold, Saturday is brown, and Sunday is white."
Well, I sort of understand what he’s trying to get at here... "So that means, if we use numbers to represent each color, Monday would be zero and Sunday six, right?" I asked, trying to clarify.
"Yes."
"Shouldn’t Monday be one, though?"
"Who asked you?"
"…Um, yeah. Okay..."
Haruki glared at me. I guess he wasn’t exactly pleased with my answer. As for me, I just sat there, uncomfortable under his stare, and let time slip by.
"...Have we ever met before? Long ago?" he asked, after a while.
"No, I don’t think so." I replied. And with Okabe-sensei's entrance, our first real conversation drew to a close.
-
Our first conversation! Though it really wasn’t anything special, this might just have been the turning point I’ve been looking for. Of course, the only time Haruki was actually in the classroom was the short bit of time before homeroom; but being seated in front of him gave me the perfect opportunity to just casually strike up a conversation with him.
A serious response from Haruki, though, still came as a surprise. I thought his response would have been something more along the lines of "Shut up!", "You're annoying!", "You're wasting my time!" or "Idiot!". I guess I must have been crazy, to even try and talk to him.
Which was why it was such a shock to come to school the next day to discover that Haruki was sitting there scowling with (instead of the three gelled spikes pattern dictated he'd have today) his long hair cut short. Wasn't changing hairstyles just because I talked to him about it a little hasty?
However, when I asked him why, he replied:
"There is no reason whatsoever."
Delivered with his trademark irritation. He didn't look angry or anything, though, so I guessed he wasn't just going to tell me his reasons.
Well, that was pretty much what I had expected.
-
"Did you really try joining every single club?"
After that, talking with Haruki before homeroom became just another routine. Of course, if I didn't try to start the conversation, Haruki would just sit there, staring out the window. And there were quite a few topics that he'd deemed 'idiotic conversation', such as the weather or TV shows, and if I tried to talk about them, he'd just ignore me. So I had to steer the conversation carefully.
"Let me know if you find any fun clubs, kay?"
"There are none." Haruki answered, flatly. "None exist."
After his emphasis, he let out a breath, like butterfly wings fluttering. A sigh?
"I thought that high school wouldn’t be waste of time. But ultimately, it's just the same as mandatory education. Nothing ever changes. Nothing is interesting. I joined the wrong school."
Exactly what criteria did you have in mind when you decided what school to attend?
"All sports clubs and cultural clubs are exactly the same; they're boring. If there were some unique, exceptional club in this school, then I might consider joining that one. "
"Who put you in charge of deciding which clubs are interesting or not?"
"Silence! If I like a club, then it's unique; otherwise, it's plain. A complete waste of my time."
"Really? Thought you'd say something like that."
"Mmm.”
He turned away in annoyance, marking the end of the day's conversation.
-
Another day:
"I, um, overheard this rumour... It's not something really important, but anyway... did you really dump all your girlfriends?"
"Who do you think you are to ask this of me?"
He flipped a lock of hair out from in front of his face, and stared at me with those bright, cold eyes. Didn't his face have any other expressions besides “Angry” and “Off”?
"Did that girl tell you? Taniguchi, right? Why is that moron in the same class as me, year after year? I hope she isn’t one of those psycho stalker girls.”
"I doubt it."
(I think.)
"Well, I don't know what you heard, but it doesn't matter. It's probably all true, in any case."
"So you never met a girl you ever wanted to have a serious relationship with?"
"They were all totally no good!"
Looks like he liked that word, 'totally'.
"Every single one of them was so silly and childish! I couldn't engage in a serious relationship with a single one of them. Each one of them expected to be taken out to dinner and paid for - with candles! Or watch some sappy romantic movie beforehand, for a “heart-pounding experience”! And at the end of the day, all they’d say is a shy “see you tomorrow” and then walk away! And that's it?"
I didn't see what was wrong with it, but I kept that to myself. If Haruki thought there was a problem, then a problem there must be.
"Then, without fail, they'd confess their deep love and adoration - over the phone. Wouldn't you tell me something that important to my face?!"
I could sympathize with those girls there, though. Making such an important - to them, anyway - confession to somebody who be staring at you like a bug would be uncomfortable, to say the least. They'd lose their nerve just from seeing your scowling face, Haruki! I really hoped I'd never have to confess to a guy like that.
"Yeah, you’re right. I’d ask the guy up to the school rooftop or something and tell him the-."
"Who said anything about you?!"
What? Did I say something wrong again?
"The problem is that are all the women in this world such dim-witted, twittering creatures. I spent most of middle school just being irritated."
Hey, don’t forget who you’re talking to!
"Then, what kind of girl would be ‘interesting’ to you? An alien?"
"I am fine with aliens or anything along those lines, so long as they're not normal. I don't even care if they're male or female."
"Why are you so insistent that they be anything other than humans?" I asked. Haruki glared at me as if I were a fly he wanted to squish.
"Because ordinary humans are no fun at all!"
I suppose... he might be right.
I had to agree with Haruki on this one. I wouldn't mind if the beautiful new transfer student was a half-alien half-human hybrid; if that moron Taniguchi, sitting there trying to spy on me and Haruki, turned out to be a magical girl who fought evil in the name of the moon alongside a talking lizard, that would actually have been pretty cool. If Asakura Ryou, who was smiling at us for some reason, turned out to be a super-powered prince from a long-forgotten kingdom, well. Then my school life would be as exciting as it could get.
Of course, there's no way that could happen. Aliens, Time travelers, handsome princes, magical powers - they didn't exist. No such thing. And even if they did exist, there was completely zero chance they'd just pop up in front of humble citizens like me, and say things like "Hello, I'm an alien-"
"THAT'S WHY!"
Haruki suddenly yelled, standing up and knocking his chair backwards in the process. Everybody in the classroom swiveled to gawk at him.
"THAT'S WHY I'M WORKING SO HARD!!"
"Sorry I’m late!"
Okabe-sensei, looking bright, cheerful and completely out of breath, rushed in, took one look at Haruki standing with his fists clenched, glaring at the ceiling, took another look at everybody in the class staring at him, and froze in bewilderment.
"Er... Homeroom is about… to start…"
Haruki sat down immediately and glared at the corner of his desk. Phew!
As I turned to face the front of the classroom, the entire class followed suit. Okabe-sensei, still disorientated by the commotion, wobbled to the podium and cleared her throat.
"I, um, apologize for being late. Eh... well, let's begin!"
With those few phrases, the atmosphere in the room finally returned to normal. Though no doubt this was the kind of atmosphere Haruki detested.
But isn't that life?
[edit] Part 6
Somebody had apparently decided that at the end of the first month, we all needed to swap seats. So class monitor Asakura-san wrote all the seat numbers onto little pieces of paper and dropped them into a tin, and we each drew our names out of it to get our seat. In the end, I got the seat in the second to last row next to the window, overlooking the courtyard. Goodbye, Haruki! Farewell... forever!
That lasted for all of about five seconds, before the next seat was drawn. Guess who got the seat behind me. Go on, guess.
-
"Why hasn't anything interesting happened yet?" he muttered irritatedly at me, one day. "Like little grade-schoolers disappearing one-by-one, or teachers getting murdered inside a locked classroom?"
"Stop saying that kind of scary stuff."
"I joined the Mystery Study Group."
"Oh. What happened?" I asked.
"They're a total joke!" he exploded. "They haven't had a single encounter with anything that looks anything like a case! All their members are just mystery novel bookworms, but none of them look remotely like detective material."
"Well, that sounds about right."
"Quite frankly, I had high hopes, too, for the Supernatural Phenomena Research Society."
"Really?"
"But they turned out to be just some bunch of occult freaks. Does that sound like any fun to you?"
"Not really."
"This school is just ridiculously boring! Doesn't this school have any remotely interesting clubs?"
"Not much you can do about something that doesn't exist." I said.
"I thought high school would have some kick-ass clubs!" he said, obviously getting worked up. "Man, this is like trying to get into the NFL, but discovering your school doesn't even have a football club!"
Haruki stared at the skies like a spectre ready to lay a thousand curses on a thousand monasteries, and let out a huge sigh.
Should I feel sorry for him?
I didn't know what kind of clubs he liked. Maybe he doesn't know what kind of clubs he likes, either. He was probably just looking for 'something interesting'. What was 'something interesting'? UFOs? Exorcisms? Murder mysteries? I got the feeling that he didn't have any idea, either. He just wanted something different in his life.
I know how that feels.
"I think it can't be helped if there aren't any." I suggested. Maybe I should try to enlighten him with what I've learned.
"Judging by history, humans are generally satisfied with the way things are at the time. Those who aren't went on to create new inventions and to advance civilization. Planes were invented because people wanted to fly; trains and cars were invented because people wanted to move around more easily. But all this came from a limited amount of people who had innovative plans and concepts. In other words, it was the geniuses who made it all possible; only a genius can convert their imagination into reality. Ordinary folks like you and me should be content with an ordinary life."
"Silence!"
Haruki cut me and what was potentially a brilliant speech off with that short, sharp bark, and turned his head away. He looked like he was in a really bad mood. But then again, when wasn't he in a really bad mood? There was nothing new about that.
This guy probably doesn't care what it is, so long as it's extraordinary, and it defies the tedium of reality. But this world doesn't have that kind of stuff. No, really, I should know. I was searching for years.
Long live the laws of physics! Thanks to you, humanity can live in peace. Though I doubt Haruki would give you his gratitude.
A normal response... right?
In retrospect, the above conversation might have been the trigger for everything that happened afterwards.
Unfortunately for me, I never even saw it coming.
The sun was warm and comfortable, and everybody in the classroom was feeling drowsy. Just as I felt myself nodding off, something grabbed my ponytail and pulled backwards, hard. I smacked my head on the desk behind me, and tears immediately sprang to my eyes.
"What the hell are you doing!?"
"I finally got it!"
I turned my head in rage and indignation, still smarting from the blow to my brain, and saw Haruki, smiling a huge smile that was as bright as the desert sun - the first time I'd seen him smile, ever! If smiles could be measured in terms of temperature, then his was the Sahara Desert, a supernova of a smile. It was certainly... overwhelming.
"I finally got it!" he repeated, still tugging on my hair excitedly. Hey, don't spit all over me!
"Why didn't I realise this before?" His eyes shone as brightly as Cygnus Alpha. I had no choice but to ask.
"Realise what?"
"If it doesn't exist, then I just have to make one myself!!"
"Make one what?"
"A CLUB!!"
My head spun, but I didn't think it had anything to do with my head smacking into the desk just a second ago.
"I see. That's... that's great. Do you think you could let go of my hair now?"
"What's with your reaction?" he pouted. "You should be happier about something like this!"
"You can tell me all about your wonderful discovery later" I said. "Right now, I just want you to think about where exactly we are right now. And please, calm down!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Class is still in session."
Haruki finally let go of my ponytail. As I turned my ringing head back towards the front of the classroom, I noticed most of my classmates gawking, awestruck, their mouths hanging half-open. The poor newbie English teacher, piece of chalk still in hand, stared at us as well, looking as though she were ready to cry.
I signaled Haruki to sit down, quickly, and bowed politely towards the poor teacher, as if to say, please continue with the lesson. I could hear Haruki muttering something under his breath as he unwillingly took his seat, and the teacher begun nervously scratching on the board again.
To create a new club...
Hmmm.
Don't tell me I'm already a member.
My poor, aching head was arguably an omen of things to come.
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